Praising the Way to Success

Praise is a wonderful therapy, classroom and parenting tool. It builds a child’s confidence when learning new skills, lets them know what they’re doing right (and subtly lets them know what they’re doing that’s not so right) and motivates the child to keep on going. But is all praise equal?

In short, no. Any praise is a step in the right direction, but some ways of praising not only motivate a child but also help them see exactly what they did well. That matters, because when a child knows exactly what they did right, they are more likely to do it again. Here are some simple strategies to make praise as effective as possible:

1. Be specific. Your child has just said the sound you’ve been working on in speech therapy perfectly for the first time. Rather than just saying, ‘Great job!’ think about how you can highlight what they have done a great job with. This could be by saying, ‘I love how you said your ‘s’ sound!’ or ‘That ‘s’ was so clear!’. Your child will then be aware of what they did right. It also sets clear expectations for future practice.
2. Be quick. When your child achieves the goal you’re working on, or does a good job with a task around the home, don’t wait to praise them. Let them know on the spot that they did a great job. Younger children, or children doing difficult tasks, may need frequent praise.
3. Recognise effort. Not every task is going to be as easy for one child as it is for the next. It’s important to identify the amount of effort your child is putting in. Look for little clues in your child’s body: facial expression, tension or fidgeting, or any other signs of frustration. Let them know they’re doing a great job, even if they’re not quite there yet. This could be saying, ‘Great trying!’ or ‘I love how you gave that a go.’ For some children, this may be the first goal: being willing to give a task a go, even if they find it tricky. By acknowledging their effort, your child is more likely to want to return to the task and give it another go the next day.
4. Encourage self-reflection. You’ve given your child lots of specific, quick praise and they’re starting to become more proficient in their skill. Now it’s time to take a step back. Once your child is aware of what they are doing right and is able to achieve some success, begin giving praise less often and start asking what they think. This encourages your child to begin reflecting on their own success and start monitoring it themselves without requiring an adult to correct their mistakes.